A corona infection can come and go unnoticed, but it can also leave a trail of destruction. Two ex-corona patients (Noor, 22 and Suus, 59) tell how they struggle with their health (long covid) and grief more than a year after their corona infection, and still keep going.
Story of Noor (22)
Noor's life was turned upside down by a corona infection. She studied and enjoyed life. In the second wave she shared a car with someone who later turned out to be infected. Noor soon became very ill. After two weeks she started vomiting. She could no longer keep anything inside.
“Miraculously, despite all the vomiting, I recovered and continued to function. My parents were extremely worried, but I hoped that things would get better. In December, I collapsed. In the hospital, I was given tube feeding, because of course I had developed a serious deficiency of everything.” Noor turned out to have long covid.
Squeeze fruit and soup
She did everything she could, kept studying and obtained her bachelor's degree in March 2020. The next day, things went wrong again; she was admitted to hospital. Fortunately, she was allowed to recuperate at home with tube feeding. Months later, Noor regained her strength. She now lives on squeezed fruit and a little soup: far too little, but her body is simply unaccustomed to food. She soon has to vomit several times a day.
“I haven’t had a regular meal for a year now. That has affected my social life. It’s just as active, but I experience eating out or having drinks with friends differently now. I’ve become aware of how social eating and drinking actually is. I miss that conviviality enormously.”
Positive
How does she keep this up?
“Sleeping a lot helps. I have less energy, but still a huge drive. Despite everything, I am now focusing on my master's degree. I have a nice network. My friends and family regularly whistle me back.”
The doctors don't yet know what to do with long covid, but they recommend hypnotherapy to Noor.
“Simply put, this might fix a broken subconscious link between my brain and my stomach. I’m also seeing a dietician to see what I can eat without throwing up all that.”
Noor is positive about the future: “I don't consider this limitation in the future at all. I still enjoy life and want to make the most of it every day. Naive? Before corona I gave my life a solid 8. And I still give it that now.”
Story of Suus (59)
Suus (not her real name for privacy reasons) had only been working in healthcare as a care assistant for a short time when she got corona. In that first wave there were few protective measures, she did what had to be done. Until she became seriously ill with, then probably, corona. Soon her husband and one of her children also became ill. Her child recovered, her husband deteriorated and fought for his life in the ICU for months. He eventually died there.
“After months in which our lives revolved around the ICU, he was suddenly no longer there. At the funeral almost nothing was allowed, the rules were very strict. Still, it was beautiful.”
Long-term complaints
However, Suus was unable to start a grieving process. The lockdowns and curfew made it impossible to share the loss with family and friends. In that loneliness, she also had to recover from the consequences of her own neglected corona infection.
“I still felt very short of breath and tired. It turned out that I had all the symptoms of long covid (a collection of long-term complaints after a corona infection – ed.). It seems to be very common, but there is no real treatment. The doctors themselves still know very little about it.”
“My environment is now 15 months further, but I am not. In my head I am still in that frightening first wave.”
There is fear in it
Now that everything has been relaxed for a long time, Suus notices that she cannot simply pick up the thread again. “I have fallen far behind. Everyone seems to have grown along with 'the pandemic'. My environment is now 15 months further, but I am not. In my head I am still in that frightening first wave. I know that there are now vaccines, face masks and so on. But the fear, the adrenaline, is still in my body. I am permanently 'on' and can't find an off button.”
Loneliness
The grieving process is also difficult. “No matter how nice everyone is to me, I feel a big hole. It is impossible to explain what my children and I had to endure during that time in the ICU. And then that feeling of guilt. After all, I brought the virus home. It all feels very lonely.” She is trying to go back to work, but that is confronting. “It all started at work: there I picked up something that cost my husband his life, that destroyed my life and my health.”
Her financial situation has also deteriorated considerably. She cannot compensate for the loss of her husband's income on her own. "My youngest is now going to study. What we were able to give the oldest, she now has to borrow. That hurts. I am also afraid of losing my job; reintegration is hard for me.
Suus keeps herself going and standing on willpower
"I take good care of myself. That helps a little, although others say: "You look good, you're definitely doing fine again." But the road back will take a long time. I'm just going to keep going, giving up has never helped anyone. My life has gone from a solid 9 to a 3 or a 4. But I'm coming from 0. Every day is one. I don't look too far ahead."
Seek help for long-term corona complaints
Are you suffering from long-term corona complaints? Discuss this with your GP. If the complaints last longer than three months, you can register here at C-support.
